Faltered Steps

Although I believe I get tons of benefit from AA (just listening to the 'shares' just gives you such a lift and an energy that I've never experienced before - it's almost like you could sit there with earplugs in; not hear a single word that someone says; and still leave feeling that energy), but I just don't get 'the 12 Steps' or 'the Programme'.

I've heard so many people say that they felt the same about this at the beginning, and now couldn't live without them; but, for some reason, I just feel that won't come to me.

At the meeting in Town yesterday, a guy was sharing about the simplicity of the Steps, and how his Sponsor taught him, and how he's taught the people he has sponsored.  I wanted to say something in response to this - with the aim to get some advice; but this bloody group in particular are queuing up to get their story out.  Honestly, you can't get a word in edgeways with this lot (blummin' alcoholics are a right arrogant self-obsessed lot, believe me!) - next thing you know it was time to get back to work, and I'd not managed to do my 'share'.  Well, anyway, I'm hoping that this guy is there again next week; as I'm gonna say my piece early on.

Talking of this guy (incidentally, he shares my first name) - there's something about what he says and how he says it that makes me feel he's a very decent soul.  My friend who takes me to meetings (in fact, I'll call her 'Pepsi' from now on - it's not her real name, but the name sure does fit!) has been saying she really needs a Sponsor (if you don't know, a Sponsor is a member of the AA Fellowship that agrees to be your kind of mentor; be on hand in dark times; give advice and assistance - pass on the 'message' and help you stay sober).  This is another thing I don't quite 'get'.  Right now, I feel I don't need one.  But, maybe, there may come a point when I do.  Of anyone I've met at AA so far, this guy at the meeting yesterday could perhaps fit that bill...