Odds and Sods

I'll be honest with you, I've hit a rough patch!  It's been bubbling for a bit now, and it coincides with having now been nearly two weeks off the smokes (no surprise there).

I've been demonstrating alcoholic behaviour with chocolate!  Sounds innocuous, but in my noggin it's not.  The fierceness with which I crave more chocolate, once having eaten a bit, is frightening.  I go at it with total conviction, and know that, if it was there, I'd keep snaffling the stuff until I puked (brown sick - nice)! This is such a concern for me that I have now banned Cadbury's from the house!  Poor L & M will have to get their chocolate fix when I'm not around...

However, it's not just this.  My beloved Blues went and won the FA Cup on Saturday and, my oh my, could I have gone on one serious session!  That old desire to drink and drink and drink and drink came flooding into my brain.  Thankfully, I didn't; but it was there alright!  I've been warned that there will be hard & tough times (remember, life does have a tendency to throw shite our way from time-to-time) that will put me in danger of 'picking-up'.  What I didn't expect is that there'll be good times too that put me in just as much danger!  And City's win was one of them (granted, one big win every 35 years isn't too much to worry about!) - I wanted to seriously celebrate, and it took a fair-old bit of will to dispel such thoughts...

So, as a result, it's been a strange weekend (for example, I could've easily got in bed at about 7pm last night, just to get away from the unsettled and agitated feelings.  I didn't - I managed til 9pm instead!).

Blue 'Moon

I'm absolutely certain my Honeymoon Period of sobriety is well and truly over now!  This means I have to face the hard & cold fact that this will be a battle.  A daily struggle that will sometimes be okay, but will sometimes be tough too.  Even the gym was a chore today (the first time I have genuinely found it hard to get motivated for it in the morning).

It's the humdrum that concerns me. The daily grind of maintaining.  But, s'pose we all have to do that in our own way.  I also have to come to terms with the fact that I am odd, and I'll occasionally have to do odd things - e.g. like going to bed at a ridiculously early time, if that's what helps me to deal with things.   So that's me right now:  My name's Mr Partridge.  And I am odd...  (you say, "Hello, Mr Partridge!")